Act twenty four - Date by Mark Heasman
Lots of us – especially as we grow into adulthood – struggle making acquaintances into friendships. Building relationships takes time and effort. Today, put aside your busyness and agendas, and make the effort to cultivate an acquaintance.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."
Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)Have you heard the story of the professor lecturing on time management?
Letting actions speak louder than words, he fills a large glass container with several fist-sized pebbles and asks the room if it is full. "Yes" comes the reply. So he takes handfuls of smaller pebbles and shakes them in to the container. Still not full. A bag of sand follows. Surely full now. Finally, a jar of water is poured in and nothing more can be added. Point made.
The moral of the story? The big important things need to go into our life ahead of the small and trivial or it won't all fit.
As Kevin De Young unpacks in his great little book 'Crazy Busy' many of us have "a pervasive sense of being unrelentingly filled up and stressed out". Modern life can often be hectic and our busyness can sideline relationships before they've had the chance to begin. Without time, acquaintances will never become friends and the big things are lost.
My parents were experts at making time to build new relationships. As I child I remember them inviting people back for lunch every Sunday after church. Anyone new would get an invite. Those on their own had a place at our table.
Building strong relationships needs thought too. It requires effort and energy to make space in our schedules and to be imaginatively creating places and doing things where they can flourish and grow.
Those Sunday lunches remain an abiding memory and have a huge impact on how Claire (my wife) and I view our home today. It isn't a museum or playroom for our children but a resource God has loaned us for His purposes. Whether that's hosting bonfire nights for our church family or inviting friends and their kids over to camp out for the night, we've discovered great joy in making what we have available to others in return for special memories that grow into lifelong friendships.
We haven't always got it right and sometimes get the mix of people wrong but, hey, God knows who's going to be there and why!
What are the big stones you need to be giving attention to today?
Choose how to complete this act...
GREEN OPTION:
Bring something nice in for whoever you're with today – whether that's in the office, gym, college, or school run. If you're not going out, make a plan so that you're ready for the next time you do.
YELLOW OPTION:
Invite a slight acquaintance for coffee/to watch the match at your local/for a walk – whatever works for them. Don't leave it vague – make a date.
Make a date with the neighbours.
Make it worth their time coming over. Don't scrimp on effort – give your best.
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